the reason why

When he was gone for some time, I was left to my own imagination as to when he would come back, everyone telling me that he was with Michelle and advising me that he was moving on. His facebook profile would declare to me that I did not have a chance with him. But I was stronger than that, more fierce than that, never letting go until the right time in which I would face him. However, I would not look like a desperate lover (there is nothing to prove that we are lovers). I would hold on to him the way he promised he would as well, in his gestures, in his promise, in his hellos and goodbyes in every departure and in every entrance back into his life. Do you think that after all these years that I would let go? And I never thought it would come to this, seriously. I just want to say that I never thought he would do this to me, that he would not only leave me but break his promise and get married to Michelle. Now prior to all of this happening, in this big huge drama, at a time when they, Michelle and John were dating, I understood where my heart was one day when I listened to the radio. This time, love was reflected in the forgiveness, courage and absolute dedication that a woman was professing to a man. She had endured days of weeping, crying, hoping things would turn around, much like what I was going through at this time! For me, my beloved was with another woman. How devastating this was for me! The long and short of it is that he left with another woman at first and came back to her, apologizing, professing his love for her, and wanting her back. I’m not blaming him, im not sympathizing with her over him, I just knew in my heart that if John is doing the exact same thing to me, the answer would be a big, fat no from me. Why? Why would I reject him at this point for taking off with a friend like that and then coming back to me at his own convenience. Well because, that woman on the radio had forgiven him and I was determined not to do the same if I had the same circumstances of weeping over a man I loved admired and cherished. Not only that, he leaves the woman he comes back to for another one, loving her, wanting her and expressing his love to her- so there was definite, real, sincere love going on here. Who wants to feel like second-best, a man’s pride, deceit and arrogance because another woman had different and competing traits that he seems to like better for a time. Why would I want this? I would never allow myself to be the recipient of a man’s love who left one woman, only to be misled by his own indiscretion and realizing he was actually going back to his bride. With me?? Women do not want to feel like they are second best but valuable in the eyes of one man and not another.