wedding

So the girls were ready. Hair done, makeup in place and all together for a group hug to say their last goodbyes before their friend was going to get married that day! “To the bride, said Rebecca,” “For years of friendship, and to many more,” said Jody. “So glad its finally happening for you, Sandra,” said Amy... As Julie the last of her bridemaids said, “All the best!” And that was it, that was the end of it. In an hour, Sandra would be married to the love of her life. This doesn’t mean she was behind in any way, though her age was higher than the average woman getting married these days. Every girl that gets married, is always second guessing her accomplishments, shortfalls, her moments of ups and downs before the big day. At least thats how it was for her. “Did I work hard enough, could i have accomplished more.” She continues, “Is everything I have enough, am i enough?” So she was just like any bride going through the emotions, saying her goodbyes for now, and she was off to marry the love of her life. How hard can it be,” she thought. She had her man, her husband, her future was bright and she had these ladies by his side today, and always for the rest of her existence. That’s how she saw it and thats show you see it when you are blindfolded to the truth. You see only the optimistic and perceptive truth, its your perspective on how things will go, but unfortunately, does not necessarily mean that thats what the world is going to serve you. I feel as though Sandra learned a few things. As do many women that get married or accomplish anything else so great, there is a nonconformist belief that life will be great, fine, fulfilling once you get the car, and then the house and then the husband and then the children. And it doesnt have to be in that order. There are many women and men out there that have had children before marriage and this is your book too. We could go on and on about all the possessions and material accomplishments that we have as women, but none of it can really fulfill us, we will just keep wanting more of it and that dependency on money, possessions and status, will dig bigger and bigger wholes in our hearts because once is just not enough and the need for more. Even when she went to New York, Sandra was seeking some kind of material, possessive saviour, yes looking for a something to fill her John void. And she was right, she should move on and accomplishments things in her heart and move on from the man that at the time was breaking her heart. But she did not realize, that trying to protect her heart all the while was a heart that was breaking so bad that she sought after these possessions. We’re talking about material holders of satisfaction which take the place of the true things that make our heart dance. I know I have brought up that materials and accomplishments are needed, but I dont stop there. They do not satisfy us as we would think. But only the deep desires of our heart can truly fulfill us because that is who we really are. It encompasses our existence, we are nothing without it then. So if a man truly loves us and we feel that love, or we share commonalities or something about him heals us, wants us, and is desirable to us – we will truly see happiness. Now there other claims that could be made for what love is, our heart and our hearts desires, that those things are a material possession. But that is true only if it is not real, the heart, the love, the experiences. I am not saying that any relationships which don’t work out are fake, unreal and truly a waste of our time. But I am saying they can become a possession instead of being a real, genuine, lasting one and fulfilling one. So with that in mind, and with the assurance of knowing she had worked hard enough to get here, had truly appreciated her friends, and felt in her heart that there was no one else better than John, the doors opened and the procession of all the bridesmaids took their place, she was filled with overwhelming joy. Dad was on her left and she was on the right. But her eyes did not meet his. Tears were in her mind but she did not want to reveal them. “Save that for your husband,” she thought. And as dad grabbed her arm, both now hiding behind years of happiness they both smiled and went back to position. And she arrived at the front, bridesmaids already assembled on the stairs, her dad extended her arm and gave his daughter away to her husband. John smiled at her and to her dad, and then her dad sat down quiet and content. Now she didnt lose it here in her tears, she lost it during their vows. Each were said clearly and they both wrote their own, and it was not so much her vows which made her cry as much as when he did. His was full of love in all ways, in compassion, in understanding, in commitment and loyalty, everything she ever wanted in a husband and best friend. Saying stuff like “I will be by your side forever,” or “You are my only, my everything,” or “I will forever keep you safe and protected from the things that hurt you.” And finally, after her final cry, she turned to happiness an joy, in a ways that can not be described. Her smile, her eyes, that always get to him, that he is mesmerized by, shone, and gave that man what he was always looking for. A wife, a wife that he loves, a wife that will stay, that will get over the cry and still love him for who he is. Is that too much to ask? Deep down in Sandra’s heart, as they walked down the aisle, to the door, hand in hand, smiling and cheering, for they had become husband and wife. Now this story is not just about the happy outcome. It is for those lovers, best friends and hearts, that both stay together through it all. The thing is that Sandra’s role, character, human and lover knew this all along. Because she heard it from so many, that life has its ups and downs. But now she was living it. She knew what it was to be up and down. And now she could truly say that she shad overcome them all. It’s not what people say that determine the course of your life. But maybe she was okay to believe in this, because it a universal truth that happens to everyone. Life will be hard. It will produce pain, suffering, and all you have to do other than pray about it, is ask yourself this one question: is it worth it? And Sandra did this very thing when John came back for her. Why? Because in her, she wanted him to not only know, but to know himself, that she would not have to tell him he is the one, but that he would come to that realization on his own. And she wanted the same for herself. How could she go on asking him, do you love me? Because this happened with all the men, all the mature men she dated in the past. They didn’t know. And that is heartbreaking. What if one day, she got home and her husband tells her, “I want to leave you,” “I do not know anymore”, “I found someone.” That is devastating to a woman, to hear the man you married who is suppose to be with you forever, have doubts about you. But what he and she did together though apart, is find out the answers to those questions before getting married. So she has eliminated half the problem. They both found out the answers before marriage and that my reader, is what made the greater difference in their marriage to each other. The other marriages and engagements in this story are thus different from this one. This does not mean it is better than those marriages, concerning how they got engaged, how they got married, how long they spent apart like how Sandra and John did before marriage. But however you marry, however you get engaged, however you spend your love life or personal life, will all affect the end result. And is it not better to know in your heart that you love someone completely before marriage? Perhaps all of them came to that realization in their own ways? But they did not get married until the bell of their heart went off and they discovered - this is life.