meeting amy

Just one night when John was suppose to meet me for coffee, I bumped into an old friend and we talked about our love story.  She remembered how it was when he was away!  We met up at the church for some kind of food drive we were doing and we were picking up another friend.  As soon as we got to her place, we were seriously talking about everything with me as she asked, “Sarah, are you okay? It’s been six months since he has left,” and I just started balling my eyes out because of fear.  “Why do you keep holding onto someone that inevitably doesn’t care because he’s with someone else. “

“Amy, listen, they told me they were just friends and now they’re engaged, but I know he’s coming back for me, that’s what he said!”

“I just can’t let him go,  both of them told me that they were just friends and I told them the only reason I am trusting them is because they are friends. “

“Ya but they’re engaged, he must have changed his mind”

“I know that is the obvious and more reasonable explanation to the situation but I just know it won’t work out, I feel it inside me!”

“How do you know that Sarah, I THINK he’s made up his mind and is moving on, I just don’t want you to be heart broken when you find he doesn’t love you anymore or has truly moved on.”

“Just trust me Amy, everything will work out, I promise you that!”

“Hm,” said my friend.  “Just promise me you will not fill your mind with only him because then you will be not be disappointed if it  doesn’t happen.” The thing is she has been through the same thing but se wasn’t reassured of everything going on, that another woman was just there to support him and be his friend.  A man that she loved reached out to her when she first came to the church and suddenly, as her emotions were building up towards him, he said he had a job opportunity somewhere else.  So naturally she would suggest not getting my hopes up and letting him go.  You see, John never gave me a solid confirmation in an email or anything and just by word of mouth.  Men make these decisions all the time that they promise one thing and do another, she that’s probably her take on it.  She’s sort of more protective than understanding.  I get that, I really understand that.  And I get that people would be concerned about holding onto him as I am.  But, I know what I know and I will never let that go.  Lots of people move on and get on with their lives, meet a new personl, but I just can not, I know he loves me and we’ll be together forever.  All the things he has said to me and all the experiences we’ve had together just don’t go away.  So I guess I’m saying in a situation like this that you find yourself in, keep inside what will offend, get criticized and what people will not understand.  I’ve definitely learned all this the hard way, the hardest way possible.