moms okay

She continues. “So when she came out of the operating room, I was so excited to tell her the news. I saw them bring a mobile bed to her room, as I was waiting there for her. What was I to do?! Contain my excitement, overflowing with anticipation and anxiousness to tell my mother. Her face was completely yellow and as I waited for her to open her eyes, I was so relieved. Well, I knew that she was finally alive once her eyes were open and that was when I told the news coming from the surgeon. I can't tell you how relieved I was that this was all over and that my mom was fine. I mean, we went from entering the hospital and not knowing what would surface in her ovaries, looking at the foothills, Calgary hospital to sitting down and balling out our eyeball, and finally to this major sigh at the relief that the cancer was all cleaned out!" John was sitting there eyes glued to me. I could not be sure if he was glued to the story or my boobs (I’ve seen him look once or twice). He says, “I know, it's heartbreaking sometimes because you hope for the best. There’s actual relief that that hope is the bridge between your faith and your breakthrough because fear just wont leave you until your miracle happens." “Well, not exactly John,” I said, “God wants us to believe first and then see the outcome. That’s what faith is, believing in something that’s not there yet and if we are not believing and we just see the proof of it; if god gave us that all the time, the end result, we would never have uncertainty, or hope for a better future.” John held his tongue because he didn’t want to argue with me, since I was his future wife. “Yes, that’s what I meant to say!” “Well, so how is your mom now?” he’d say. “I mean has it been some time since this happened?" “Yes, it’s been about a year. I guess she just got lucky. But luck I don’t really believe in. That’s different than blessed of god. You see, if our friend Diane died after having two battles with cancer, and if she wasn’t spared than why would my mother? It could have been her that left us early. I’ve read books of moms dying in their fifties and this was happening for Diane but not now for my mom.” He went on. “Sometimes in life, bad things do happen to good people. People get paralyzed in freak accidents or get cancer, terminal illnesses, mental wellness illnesses and addictions manifest, leading to bad behaviours. You said you’re lucky and then you said you’re blessed but I think for some reason it's fate and destiny for your mom to still be alive, even though she could not have survived, let's say if the cyst had not been detected until later.” “Well ya,” I said. “My mom detected it on her stomach first. Then my dad encouraged her to see the doctor. Next the doctor turned her away saying it was nothing until she went back and really believed it wasn’t NOTHING. Thennnnn she went to the hospital that weekend! Why are doctors like this, it’s like you have to push them to do things, when they should be the ones getting their act together and finding out the problem instead of pushing it under the rug?”