roomate/psychologist

“He what?” said my roommate when I told her. I knew this was not going to go over well. Anyone I tell about him just does not agree with me. I’m just going along trying to do the best i can to stay positive about him, as you can see by my conversations with him, but I just have to side with her sometimes because it's so obscure. "The reason this is such a problem is that you cant really blame him, his last girlfriend cheated on him and he’s just not over her. He says the nicest things to me. He says all those lovey dovey comments. But i just don’t think im okay with this. However, he’ll keep going on and on about how much he loves me. You’ll never understand until you meet him and hear how genuine and serious he is with me. I’m his sunlight, his everything and I feel so good with him. Couples like this just do not work out so I can see why you might think that." “Well,” said my roommate, you’ll just have to wait to see how the relationship goes. Sometimes men do change, sometimes not, they can drop everything and put their focus on you and sometimes it's not worth it to them, so you need to ask him those questions before you get serious. If he is damn serious about you he'll do those things and even if he wont stop talking to his exes, if he is reassuring and if its promising to you that he'll let go for you, then that is a good answer to your question of whether he truly loves you. He doesn’t have to be perfect, but if he's willing to work this through and work on your relationship, then it should be alright. But it's not like you're perfect either, you have your flaws, but you would never let another human get in the way of your serious relationship so at the right time he's got to let go. If that is fair and makes sense to him, while also letting go of the past at a certain time, I think it will be alright. I go on. “I think its worth it. I think he means well, like he is not trying to discourage and hurt me. I think his emotions and feelings are true for me. He says sorry, he seems excited and is looking forward TO SEEING ME ALL THE TIME. He even talks about our future like it has already happened. That’s a keeper! He’s looking forward with eyes that are glued on me and not her, not anyone. Maybe I just need to give him the space and time he needs to get over her. You’re right, just give him some time.” “As a psychologist, I see cases like these all the time and I always tell them this. If he acts like a duck, he is. He's a quacker. But sometimes men change. That doesn’t mean it always works but there is still a chance that he will change his ways. Sometimes, you have to be passive, in other times you have to be firm, telling him with honesty about how you feel but listening with ears of acceptance and gentleness. So what do I want you to take with you this week? Confidence and belief that you are enough. You are enough to see the change and make a relationship work.”