last pages

In this point of the story sarah does not know how it will end as in most, one does not want to give it to the reader. John had left as mentioned and I was dnot feeling my best. I know its wrong but one thoghh being in love with him I had to fill my mind nd my life with something to ge over it, over him and her and the temptation to believe that im unworthyc of his love. That’s what it all feels like. And John would xsay he didn’t leave me or forsake me for Samdra but how can I go like that in this situation and not have a single doubt in my mind about that. Don’t women rely on that firm word of love and devotion thatz we feel when da man sets himself only up for one woman. Am I nuts to think that he can not be trusted, that even though a friend that he could fall in love with her and then im doomed because I lose my love of my life. So tell me reader, if I should go on or move on like most of my friends and the people I meetsay to do. My chances are pretty low right and that’s just not his perspective. He says, hes giving me space and letting me be alone like I want to, but it doesn’t necessarifly mean that he has tod leave right. So whose fault is this if things get way out of hand? Of course its his fault and all the male readers and anyone on his side in this will say that I am wrong, that its my fault if anything bad happens. Or can we say it’s the fault of those that started it in the first place. This is the age old question of relatinoships. And not only that todays people are always saying “live your life” and “let things go” and “go on an adventure”? right? So most people say and are in favour of letting go. IO guess im saying don’t have fun, don’t take risks, place it safe and don’t allow yourself to grow, learn and develop in the choices youb make. Ill leave it up to you what you think you would do, but for me, im thinking “im gonna get hurt” and “shes gonna fall in love” (even though he wont)! I guess in a way its a good idea to let go, as long as we stay in love. So saying I don’t want the adventure means I don’t want all of the fun, all the growing; I seriously think hes just doing this becuase he loves the adrenaline rush and the pursuit that men say they love. So lets see what happens and if he comes back and the outcome of it all on the both of us. But first lets look at all the opinions that Im not suppose to be listening to and whom say I should let go. Those kinds of people in my life I realize are not living by faith day to day. That’s what I call boring and bland and a waste of precious time. What fun is it to live life like that! One of my closest friends in Edmonton when he left, said that I should let him go. Her words being, “You never know who could come along,” pretty much she said. “If you don’t let go of what you have or long for you will never experience something new.” So this statement is the kind of statement saying that you have to ‘let the old things go if we want to experience something new. ‘ Okay sos I like that but not fint eh sense that she I smeaning. She wants me to not get hurt to not take risks because there could be someone else around the corner. But fi don’t want to let him go. I like what sh says because it helps me realize that its okay to let him go for a while, but I am not don her side and she doesn’t drealixe that because I don’t tell her that but we end up not really talking about this conversation and not being friends for the rest of my diuration in Edmonton. You might say oh shes been hurt in the past, thatsa why shes saying that. Well she has a past that hav framed her minds opinions. But this is not really why shes saying this. Shes saying this because this kind of love has never happened to anyone and she doesn’t fknow how to handle it except to let it go!!