true love

(Many years before the engagement). When we got home that night, I knew I had to confess something to him. In all the uneasiness of life, although I should be so happy, I could feel my heart pounding as I thought about her, his her, his love interest, although way gone and he didn’t see for some three was his response, but it still worried me. She came into his life as a first relationship, you know we are all so dumb when we are in love for the first time. “John, I’m just not happy right now. I need some time,” said Sheryl. And this brought back memories from their past relationship. I remember when I started to be in love, with John. There’s not a care in the world. Meaning you don’t care what people are going to think, where you are going, you just know you want to be with this person all the time, your whole life. So I continued to trust my intuition, he was at the bookstore in the city and he was sitting at a coffee shop connected to the bookstore and I went right up to him. Of course, we had already interacted many times and this was just an open invitation to sit down. He says to me, “have a seat, Sheryl.” So we had a chat as I sat there for just a few minutes because I had to go back to work at the bookstore. I was in heaven. I loved what we talked about - our tempers, our aura, our impressions were indeed alike, like a rib that had been taken from him and finally reunited, with myself. That is to say, we were a perfect match for each other; and to this day, we feel the same thing. Nonetheless, he was handsome, he had a deep voice even then, his eyes fixated on me like a lion on the scene to capture its prey. I’m not really an animal or someone to be eaten, to be seen as someone who must be eaten, but you get the hint! His eyes were absolutely staring at me and I loved it! We talked of the music we love and the church we were connected with in Edmonton. Talks of his plans and mine for the next three years would be discussed. On another day as well we had a most heavenly talk as I crossed paths with him at work. He was looking at the books in front of him and as he walked towards me, I began to walk as well. Talking of a dislocated shoulder, I showed my most sincere compassion for him, as I said “Oh no, hope you are getting better,” I even brought my dad and brother into the conversation, my [point being that they know more about these sorts of things.) "I know more about education, reading and writing and my point being they know more about the body and how it works to cause such discomfort after an accident." To which he replied “Well I’m sure they know more about that than me.” I was very pleased with that ending. I had never felt like he opened up to me as well as this time. I felt like I was his and he was mine because everything he was saying was drawing me to him, attracted me to him. After that conversation I just felt like I knew him, wanted him and was willing to figure this out, see this through and pray about this to see if he was the man for me. Don’t get me wrong, it was only the first real encounter with a man I could see myself dating, but was enraptured by his every move and I knew this was meant to be, destiny, I had reached home but I was still unsure. Not because of him, but because of me. I went to bed that night and laid on it, absolutely in love. I sighed, I was relieved but needed to process all of this. I had endured years of regret and I did not want to have any part of regret ever again so I determined in my heart that I wouldn’t allow myself to go into something I wasn’t ready for. This thought was not me quitting, giving up, settling for someone else instead of him by putting this relationship on hold. And this most importantly, was not myself saying that I did not want him or that I want to watch someone else have him instead. Not only that, I didn’t owe anyone an explanation or to give them something in return, since i would wait years before seeing him from this time. It was our relationship, it would be our engagement and marriage down the road and some people think they had the right to get involved with him since we were on a break! As far as I was concerned, we decided we weren’t ready and that was never a license to get involved with someone else. Yes, there were actual people believing, hoping that I would never return or that hey would have the chance to be with him, and I resented this so much. And they were definitely doing things to aggravate, embarrass and make me the fool, but I will tell you they were no match for me, because they saw me stand my case. I made it clear he was mine and no one could ever separate what we has established, and what god had created for US. I don’t mean to downplay or make those girls feel that they are inferior but this is my man and they're trying to take what is mine, which I can’t allow. To those girls, i thought, they should just put your feet in my shoes for a second, how would they feel if someone was trying to take from you what is yours? End of story. “Enough of that,” I thought to myself, “now to get to the housework and see what mom was up to”, said Sheryl. She was sitting as she often does working on a puzzle, when I walked in, with a book on the table where she was working.

almost end of the engagement party

So, John, being on a roll as he was, lifted up his plastic glass and introduced me as his new bride. His friend Jack saying, “Cheers to John and Sheryl, forever in love and forever to stay”. And we all lifted up our cups and said the same thing together.

final engagement party

“What are you doing so engrossed in your conversation with Sandy” said John. “I am talking of how wonderful it is to be here with all our friends,” said his fiancé. John goes on, “then maybe talk with some of our other friends. Matty is standing over there with Jo and has been waiting to speak with us about how the engagement went. They want all the details, which I already gave to them. But give them your perspective.” “And tell me your take on that my beloved?” “Well, you’re going to have to come with me to find out,” said Sheryl, as they both walked off together and joined the circle of friends that consisted of the above mentioned as well as others. Sandy took off to talk to her girlfriend that she brought to the party. “Well, well, well,” said Matty, “you two are quite the impressive couple, do tell all the details and let’s get a look at that ring.” Everyone in the friend circle had a look as Sheryl’s finger as she extends her hand to show off the ring. “Well, we had bought the ring when we were on a trip and we stumbled upon an old local shop in Victoria, BC. We were on vacation there and we just decided to have a look. So I had a ring in mind and they had one in an oval shape there. This is the ring that we chose, as it dazzled in the sunlight. There were “ooh’s” and “awe’s” as she showed it off. “Wow, Sheryl,” said a friend, “To have the ring that you always wanted is such a blessing and I am just so happy for your guys. It’s been so long and all of us have just supported you and have been looking forward to when you get married and now your time has come.” Jo steps up and says, “you have been through a lot together and although its honestly been a long journey together you have both got what you have talked about wanting to accomplish before the engagement. It’s no shame that’s how it has happened at all, although its been a long time for you to accomplish it; I can see that what you have amounted to, now that you’re engaged, is that you are more mature, happy and content in all you do.” And said another, “And how about staying here now in Edmonton, we miss you SO MUCH and want you to come back.” “Thanks guy so much, we are so happy and long for the day when we get married. Thank you so much for your support and love and encouragement. We have needed it so much as we have been going through so much over these seven years,” as she grabs her fiancé by the hand and he kisses her hand! “And its better than we all think,” said John, “we could not be more thankful and excited for what our future holds. We have dreamed it up, we have longed for it and it has finally come. This is my wife,” ended John.

changes that i made

Sheryl went on. “Well the two men were brothers and a young lady was also in the show, not just in the beginning as we walked in. They had a hotel business and she was used as entertainment in the pub next door. The thing is that she was in love with one of the men and it isn’t known for months. He eventually brings his love interest on stage and of course she is devastated. ‘This is my lovely girlfriend’ he says and introduces her to his brother as well as Mary, the lady. What becomes of all of this without boring her friend is that Mary confronts him and he declares absolutely in love with his girlfriend and never to enter into a relationship with Mary.” This began to make Sheryl sad because of her secret child, on account of Mary being rejected, fearing that John will never forgive her and their relationship will be over. So much so that she began to think of the past and wonder what would happen if John found out. Sheryl begins to think of the past. We were first in the bookstore and I stumbled upon a man that wanted to talk to me. Of course we hadn’t been engaged yet so there was no ring and John was walking toward me quite quickly. The man I was talking to was going on and on about how I had no ring and as soon as the conversation escalated to that I turned away as John began to walk towards me. What was I to do? I was talking in a very awkward conversation with this man I never knew. And John, in the moment that my heart started to race and long for his very contact, I made a rash decision and walked away. He walked away and that was the last time we saw each other. Gone forever, for what would be 12 years. So many times I look back at this in my mind, wondering what I should have done differently. He was tall, handsome, the most handsome I had ever met and because of my indiscretion, he was gone. The only time next I would see him, would be when he was in his olive green vest in which he would declare my name, to which I would reply “hi”. How could I have been so blindsided by that awkward stranger, things would have changed so much if I had just put him first and invited him into a conversation with me or at least smiled.

cont'd engagement party (sheryl's look at the past)

“It doesn’t matter, “ I thought to myself, “it doesn’t matter”. "I have loved him here and there all throughout my life. I am the one who has been battling this disease, like an illness, like a tempest that won’t go away, whose symptoms will not dissipate. When I met him we were young and my mind was never on the matrimony I could have with him. I was 15, he was 18 and off to university. Marriage was far from my mind at that point but I was never inconstant, I was doubtful of the marriage, that he even wanted me. I was 15, thinking about marriage as a far off endeavour and my mind for any man was to just be there as a brother, as someone in God’s kingdom. (Although I was always dreaming of some man picking me up in his arms ready to marry, without any clue about who it could be.) Then I did appear at the school, we met about three year later, to visit my family there and we happened to stumble upon him as he said "hi" one day to me. I simply was talking with some friends and that was when I saw him. He was handsome as ever. Then the big city encounter with him and now I wait for the glorious day in which I hope I will see him again." "That is all Sandy, that is all I have to say about him, about us, but there is something burning on my conscience that I must also tell you."

The Engagement Party Part 2

Sheryl continues. “One day, we were at a park after our walk and we stumbled upon a sign that read ‘Dinner Theatre’. John jumped at the thought and idea of doing that. So this is how it went,” said Sheryl. It was by no means my favourite show but it is worth sharing. The two of them walked into the dinner theatre building and came upon a crossdresser who would be in the dramatization. “Come and sit down lovely couple,” the crossdresser said. It was set up as if we were going to eat with chairs and tables everywhere. Chicken and rice were on the menu, her very favourite meat. Two men entered on the stage saying to us "welcome to everyone to this performance we are about to put on for you. Please leave cameras out of the show and enjoy your meal.” “So what was it about Sheryl? What happened in the theatre part of it. Just give me a summary of it all, I would be so excited to hear." Sheryl went on. “Well the two men were brothers and the crossdresser was also in the show, not just in the beginning as we walked in. They had a hotel business and the crossdresser was used as entertainment in the pub next door. The thing is that she was in love with one of the men and it isn’t known for months. He eventually brings his love interest on stage and of course she is devastated. ‘This is my lovely girlfriend’ he says and introduces her to his brother as well as Mary, the crossdresser. What becomes of all of this without boring her friend is that Mary confronts him and declares absolutely in love with his girlfriend and never to enter into a relationship with Mary." This began to make Sheryl sad because of her secret child, fearing that John will never forgive her and their relationship will be over. So much so she began to think of the past and wonder what would happen if John found out. They were first in the bookstore and I stumbled upon a man that wanted to talk to me. Of course we hadn’t been engaged yet so there was no ring and John was walking toward me quite quickly. The man I was talking to was going on and on about how I had no ring and as soon as the conversation escalated to that I turned away as John began to walk towards me. "What was I to do?" said Sheryl to herself, she was talking in a very awkward conversation with this man she never knew. And John, in the moment that her heart started to race and long for his very contact, she made a rash decision and walked away. He walked away and that was the last time they saw each other. Gone forever, for what would be 12 years. So many times she looked back at this in her mind, wondering what she should have done differently. He was tall, handsome, the most handsome she had ever met and because of this indiscretion he was gone. "The only time next I would see him, would be when he wore his olive green vest in which he would declare my name, to which I would reply 'hi'. How could I have been so blindsided by that awkward stranger, I would have changed so much if I had just put him first and invited him into a conversation with me or at least smiled." “It’s ok,” said Sandy, “you never know, he may just kept walking.” “Well and that’s the thing, he was a little bit unresponsive on some level at other times so this may have resulted in the same way.”

The Engagement Party Part 1

April 1, 2020 @ 1:09 pm (no april fools) So we arrived with our hearts and our minds feeling, sensing a very good celebration to come. Everyone was asking when the wedding would be and what preparations we had made. Of course we hadn’t done anything really, we had only just arrived and dropped our things off at the house. Sandy my best friend would be my maid of honor, and my four bridesmaids were there. His part of the wedding party would also be there as well. His best man Robert would be there. People began to put the food on the table, salads and fine Italian bread, sitting next to luscious spinach dip; there was also some chicken as well as the sweet aroma of its accompanying gravy, rice and mashed potatoes, now placed on the table and ready to eat. There were decorations all over, balloons, streamers and “congratulations’ signs all over the backyard all in this sunny, summer day. Birds were chirping and gathering around the neighbourhood, singing away, and everyone was in high spirits except for Sheryl. The bride, well the bride to be, and no one had a clue. She hid her feelings very well because well what bride would want to leave and make it all known to a guy like John. So off she went gathering her food and sitting down with everyone on the two tables and chairs set before them that her friends had set up for her and John. There as she grabbed her paper plate, utensils and a cup of juice, she was smiling and laughing and thinking of all that was on her mind, she couldn’t help but think on the secret she was so adamant to not telling John about. So as she took her things and sat down to eat with her friends, she gulped not only to eat her food and socialize with her friends, but to think of the time that she was going to have to tell him now. So off she went talking to her friends first, of course she could not reveal her secret with everyone being here at this party, a time of enjoyment and celebration of their beautiful life together. So off she went talking to her friends of their summer, them being away from home in their separate jobs. “Oh we went shopping and hiking and camping, we saw shows and movies all summer long” said Sheryl, being very vague as she could not help but think of this child kept a secret now for many years. “There was much to see,” she continued, “lush green forest and staying in our tent was so relaxing after a long hike and dip into the water on the beach” “of course there was our meals which we enjoyed so much having for the first time alone as a couple on a vacation” said Sheryl. “oh do tell, Sheryl, I want to know every detail, what movies and shows were in Vancouver? It must be so exciting?” asked Sandy. “Oh they have all kinds of shows you can see. Musicals, movies, dinner theatre and stand up comedians. Um. We went to quite a few of these. How could we NOT get involved when all our favourite things were right there before our very eyes” said Sheryl. Sheryl continues. “One day,