cont'd engagement party (sheryl's look at the past)

“It doesn’t matter, “ I thought to myself, “it doesn’t matter”. "I have loved him here and there all throughout my life. I am the one who has been battling this disease, like an illness, like a tempest that won’t go away, whose symptoms will not dissipate. When I met him we were young and my mind was never on the matrimony I could have with him. I was 15, he was 18 and off to university. Marriage was far from my mind at that point but I was never inconstant, I was doubtful of the marriage, that he even wanted me. I was 15, thinking about marriage as a far off endeavour and my mind for any man was to just be there as a brother, as someone in God’s kingdom. (Although I was always dreaming of some man picking me up in his arms ready to marry, without any clue about who it could be.) Then I did appear at the school, we met about three year later, to visit my family there and we happened to stumble upon him as he said "hi" one day to me. I simply was talking with some friends and that was when I saw him. He was handsome as ever. Then the big city encounter with him and now I wait for the glorious day in which I hope I will see him again." "That is all Sandy, that is all I have to say about him, about us, but there is something burning on my conscience that I must also tell you."