goodbyeforever

So as Rob and I left one night on a date, things could not have been more perfect! He’s my ultimate package, great job, position in the company that i was in. But i had doubts? Does he love me? Does he meet my needs, is he willing to work on the things that drive us apart? Yes, he had the whole package, and all this time that’s what was important to me. But as he’s standing there, not kissing me, not engaging with me in a moment, when i thought he should, because i was ready for it, he never did. He said he had to go and as he left he opened the door for me, dropped me home and there was not a kiss in sight for us! It was the longest drive home of my life. Letters, glances, dates and especially feelings, expectations and mental pictures of him in mind were only now a fleeting moment. Why did this have to happen? I thought we had it great, we weren’t talking about kids and we weren’t talking about things too soon, so i did not know why he would leave like that. Holding his hand was like a dream. It was everything I ever imagined it to be. Butterflies, security when times are tough and it ultimately feels good. It was nice to know that someone was there holding my hand through it all. Then we had times of looking into each other’s eyes, saying we loved each other and that we couldn’t imagine going down a road differently than this one. I agreed. I mean when a man uses words like that to affirm his feelings and they line up with a woman’s feelings, the stars are aligned and it’s a done deal. It touches a girl’s heart and they are one for life. At least, that’s what a girl is going through when a man tells her he loves her; i don’t know about a man, but this is what I went through. Now i know he probably didn’t mean to break my heart and leave me like I’m nothing to him, after all those words he used on me. But it is broken. It is frail. It is not beating right now. It has died, just like our relationship and the feelings we had for each other. If there is any chance of reconciliation, it will be because he gets on his knees and begs, because the way he left me, left me in tears one day. Why should I allow myself to fall for a man who has betrayed me. So I listened to the radio this one day, a woman went back to a man that had left her – FOR ANOTHER WOMAN. SO I SAID TO MYSELF THAT DAY, “if he comes back after being with someone he loved after leaving me, I will reject him.” Because he had to have a reason for dropping me off that day in that awful manner. There was another girl, I instantly thought after hearing the radio! And that is the worst feeling I had ever had to date – when a man leaves you for another woman!