jon and i

I was literally so excited that this was happening for me, for us, but it also made me think of the past! As soon as I had got to New York I didn’t have anyone. I met a few guys and just didn’t click with them. One took me out to a meal and asked me if I was still interested in a second date, to which I said no. I had another boyfriend lasting maybe 2 weeks and another man took me out one night! As I reflect on these men and Im not really ashamed of this at all, I realize that (along with the shoppers guy) that I was searching for something. Aren’t we all!!?? Searching for love, a deeper purpose in life other than JUST myself and my career. But every relationship that pursued me in life was not the right fit, did not fulfill me and I felt like my path was being halted and did not exist for me so I took that as meaning that that was the wrong path to take. But Jon was there for me in absolutely everything. He held doors, and opened the car and paid for supper, did all the necessary gestures a man in love should do to his girlfriend and future fiancé, marriage partner. He is honestly so sweet and kind to me, asking me how im doing every day and telling me how much he loves the way I look, something I highly prize because no one else would ever tell me how good I look! When a man starts to do that to you, make you feel and look beautiful (which is possible because they tell you how beautiful you are and that makes you want to be the best version of your beauty!), you believe him. When you are told you are someone else’s better half, you start to believe that too! But it can’t stop there, you can have men tell you those things and you still feel like dirt shit because beauty is not enough. You must have compatibility, love and care all in one. It can not be just physical things, the way you look, how much money you make, your status in life! I felt like at this point in my life that love was more than being materialistic! It had to be showered with commitment- undying loyalty to a person, staying in one place, taking a stand and saying you will stay this way with me no matter what happens? This falls under the category of compatibility because you both have promised to do the same thing, and the only way to get along is to be committed. So off I went to central park with my boyfriend telling him ‘yes’. I did so because of his love and care that I have just mentioned exists between him and I. He cares about how I do in life (how much effort, success and what I need in life)! He always points out how wonderful life is with me. And he's very thankful, always very thankful!