Venice with my husband

On the tour between Italy and Greece it was an extraordinary trip. As the tour bus finally got us to travel Venice, Rome and Florence, the Italian part of the trip, I was particularly interested in all the fantastic food choices we would be given. It came with 12 breakfasts, 12 hotel stays and I got to say this part of the trip is my favourite. Food is like an art and I am very excited to share it with you. We also admired historic churches, winding canals in Venice to start, and picture perfect piazzas in Venice, known as the queen of the Adriatic seas. As you can see we had ample time to complete our tour when my husband had joined me the last 7 days of the trip as I discussed already the owner of where I was staying, extended our stay another 5 days. As my husband and I were talking about our trip and what we most looked forward to, he said he would like to see all the ancient buildings and immediately I thought of the churches. “The St. Marks Basilica has very religious and public life significance. Many people mainly tourists come to view its splendour. It is also a testament to the wealth and power of the serene Republic of Venice,” I said to him! “What are you looking forward to doing Sandra?” “Probably the food. But I would start with the wineries. I love picking from the vines and gathering them to be crushed and finally made into wine.” "Honey, that’s so plain, everybody knows about that. What about the magnificent hills and valleys known to Italy?" "John, thats my favourite, what can I say? I love the process, I love transferring and using and modifying things into different stages as you can do with the making of wine. It’s not about the finished product for me, like wine and structures that you love (churches) and seeing a suberbly made pizza in its final stage. In my mind, what is most important is the steps, gathering the sauce, the cheese, the pepperoni that creates the final product, know what I mean?" Honey we can get pizza and wine at home, but to see architecture, made from years ago, especially with the Basilica which we saw first online with its beautiful half-circle formation on its top and its beautiful white color that surrounds it all over." "I get your point but I cherish things that are new to me, things I’ve never learnt. How am I suppose to take home a castle looking church, I never will and that make seeing it even more profound because I can not take it home. You can take home your fresh Italian wine and well a pizza, they’re all the same thus making it not so important. The history of the church, their wealth, their people, are all represented in that building; the people that made it, the hands that crafted it, the leaders that it is based on, are all very significant things!" said her husband!

a gondola ride

“So what brings you here”, the owner said, whose name was Peter. I’m sure you’re on vacation. "Well yes" I said I intend the next three months to be well worth the money. And what would you like to accomplish out of all the activities, history, grape vineyards and wineries, tours and restaurants to see. “Wowe,” I thought, this is the best place to get connected with if you want to abroad on a vacation! “Well yes, I have all the information you need for such a trip, including what I have already mentioned. I’ve got tourist pamphlet information, phone numbers and anything that needs a good word on what you would like to explore! "The good stuff, the bad stuff and the ugly!” “Can you help me out with the boats on the water?” “Oh yes, the most famous and most frequent travelled tourist spot in Venice. Every dream of every lady. A calmly ridden flat-bottomed boat along the soft spoken ripples of the water, which is accompanied by a man directing the travel of it, as he sings renditions of Italian song. A gondola ride amongst a canal.” “Well all that will have to wait for my husband when he gets here the last few days and I can take the boat with him. He’s going to hate me for making him wait three months only to be here three days.” “Why only three days, he’s most welcome here as long as he wants!” “Well, thank you, but this is my trip. But I suppose he’s welcome a few more days in the week.” “Most certainly, if you don’t mind, I can put him on the list and he will have plenty of time for visitation to any tourist attraction, my dear!” “ok, I‘ll discuss with him! I just thought it would be too late as I know you to be a very busy owner of your lodgings and so I did not think it possible at all!” “Very possible indeed!” “I have particular curiosity in the tour groups. He would love that for a day! He’s talked about touring Italy, especially where we are here in Tuscany, Cortona and some of the smaller little towns.” “Yes I have tons of information on that because almost everybody who comes through our country is interested. You can look up wineries that tend to be of the finest in the world obviously and which the grapes are used to make them here locally; and churches adorned with beautiful gold and dark colors as opposed to the not-so-famous lighter colors here. Darker blues, reds and some brighter ones as well. Rock and gravel are a common use on the outside of villas as this has been a trend since old times. You'll see in these villas that the back porch overlooks the vast and beautiful green hills of Italy that are so very common here. You could spend your days in the back there, reading, writing of its exquisite nature, talking with your spouse. I’m sure that you would love it!!”

the bed n breakfast

So off we went as the train travelled eastern to the maritime provinces of Canada! When I settled into my place as I arrived in Italy through an incoming airplane, I was met with so much excitement and enthusiasm for all the adventures I would take here over the next few months. I couldn’t wait to tell John and at the same time I was avoiding this conversation. He thinks it's going to be for a month. But I have never had this chance to get away on my own. It’s been about 6 years since we first started dating and I have never gone on an adventure quite like this one. So I take all my belongings and bring them to a lodging that I had already scheduled. Instead of just paying for rent and having the house to myself I ventured to live in a place where I could associate with others. So I found this place for rent where other people were boarding at a bed and breakfast! There are lots of these in Italy and Canada does have a few! Therefore, I knew the basic rules that encompassed staying at a bed and breakfast. Breakfast is at 7 am and if you want it please be on time, it will not be offered later. So I gathered all my stuff and would be staying here for the next few months. The owner was very generous to give me this much time, but there was another family that was staying that long as well so I hoped we would get to know each other very well on my trip. My room was decorated white everywhere, the walls, the bed sheets, the door, even the carpet and wall accessories like pictures and crocheting decorations. I have no idea why but this room felt like me and I immediately felt very at home. I mean this is the place I'll be living in so I better get comfortable I guess. There’s always something about a new place like a bed and breakfast that takes you to a place of luxury like this one. The bathroom was also very luxurious! Beautiful cream colored hand towels and other towels adorned the handles in the bathroom and I loved the counter tops and shower stall, that added a shine to it as both were locking my eyes upon this beautiful cream colored marble material! The owner needed me downstairs now to get the official tour! “Please don’t hesitate to use this room for anything you like,” he said, I was very happy about this part. I am looking forward to some rest and relaxation. It was very cozy and warm with its couch and pillows and lovely decorations around the room on the walls and furniture! He then showed me the dining room, kitchen as the rooms next on the tour. The dining room was accompanied by another on its right but he did not mention that room to be one of the rooms we can use! So the dining room table had this cherry oak finish, nicely set up for the breakfast this morning (I was just in time for it) and we would just check out the kitchen before we were ready to eat it. It was white, yes all white, the cupboards, the marble white counter and another small kitchen table we could also use for a lunch or dinner for ourselves. We were allowed to use the dishes but of course had to pick up after ourselves.

lush greenery and water

So as the train left and I was settled in I have to say it was quite a scenic drive. To my left was a beautiful piece of terrain of green grass highlighted by trees of apples and peaches. The lush greenery really magnified the enormity of them. I was feeling like I would really like to pick from those trees. And on the other side of what looked like a bridge too was a meandering river full of water, gushing all the way down to the other side of the bridge. The river went a very long way to bring life to its occupancies like fish and insects and other water mammals, im sure. Who knows, maybe one might see fishermen down this meandering river. Outside obviously of the train, on the left side, was this river. I wondered if there were swans or frogs and other birds and mammals that feed off of this water. And since it looked respectably clean and not murky water, I thought that these creatures of the meandering river must be well taken care of. In front of us, as we took the train by it, we could see a forest area which was situated all the way around a cottage-like home painted all white. It had two pillars holding the front entrance way up and it is as elegant as one could comprehend. I wondered who that could be that owns that property. Essentially the river and bridge was a few miles off of their property. Then the grassy forest with trees also creeped right in front of this property. Since we were basically in the area of my home still I made it my goal when I got back to see what all this land and property meant to the city. I certainly wouldn’t be getting involved with someone I do not know like this family that lives there. So I decided I might venture to find out what it was all about. I thought, “what’s their occupation? Kids? Why buy a house with all this in front of them and to what extent do they own this property? Like does it have any spiritual or physical or mental significance to this family? I didn’t see any boats nearby so im assuming the family did not have direct access to this land and is just dormant without anyone touching it but the small creatures that inhabit it! The reason I am so caught up with the white house is because it said that there was an animal farm going to be happening in a month. I also have to say that Josh’s father that I talked about earlier owned this property. The animal farm would attract many young people and kids with their parents every year but there was also some eating going on in their outside tent that they were setting up here. I have gone before and it is always a pleasure with a few friends at the time! They had a slideshow of what it had been like all these years, and even my cousin knows him from school so this time was of particular importance!

train to italy!

Situated just minutes before the train had to get going on those rusty tracks, John was letting me put my luggage on the train. As the bell was going to go off any minute now, we had ten minutes to go. The driver was getting himself mobilized, the passengers were beginning to flow in because we were so close to departure. You always get those last few passengers come in so close to the start time. As I am about to board I say: I love you honey , I will always be true to you. Yes, honey, me too! I know its going to be a long time since I see you but you can come see me half way (it was going to be 6 months total) “Oh honey I will call you asap and we will call each other like all the time.” We say our goodbyes and we both think its reassuring that we will see each other in three months. “Call me as soon as you get in” he says to me and I go on saying: I will. Darling, I love you. Always have and always will. You are my prince charming, the one my heart loves, lover of my soul and I love you with everything I am. I never doubted you u hv always been the love of my life. I know that you hv said too that you loved me upon first meeting me. (I don’t blame you either!). honey, I feel the same, we are one because we love each other with the same commitment and passion. It’s like our hearts were made for each other (he keeps saying this too!) I will hold onto that while im here. I don’t know why I have to leave this way but I really want to make this trip and so I hope youre ok with it. So we said our goodbyes with a most passionate kiss there before i left as well. He touches my ‘beautiful hands’ (as he calls them)! He goes on: “You will be my wife! You are my wife.” To which I say, “Yes, always!”, I pause for a second as he strokes my hair and face. “You are my everything I promise you that.” And so I board as I lean into a final kiss and I am about to cry tears of sadness as I leave my hubby to be for the first time in years. I sit down in my seat and all I could think about was John. This was not me, us going backwards, we were going forwards. I was taking some time to focus on me before we get married. We have been together 8 years and not once have I done anything on my list of things that I really want to do in my life. So this was a personal visit, maybe wander the vineyards and see a huge tray of pizza at the local pizza place!

the end of exploration in my heart

I just feel like at this point I have met a lot of people who have touched my life since we separated and I needed every one of them to teaching me things and get me through this mess. Amy was there in the weeping, some other friends in enjoying Edmonton the best that I could, Angie being a companion during the toughest of realities with John and Sandra, as well as all the help that came through during the wedding. How can I thank them enough but invite them to my wedding and thank them for being there. I guess I’m admitting that they pay an instrumental role in all the ups and downs. You see, I’m the kind of person that likes to do that on my own! I clean my house, pay for my own stuff (without any boyfriend), I spend a lot of time alone ALL ON MY OWN. So having so many things turn against me and really feel like I am going under, turned out to be a real blessing, because so many people came to my rescue. I learned that we can let go of our aspirations of self, and embrace the love we can have for ourselves and others. I guess we should love on other people as much as ourselves. These are deeper-seeded wounds for me, being able to open up to people and letting them take charge in my life because what they say sounds right. It’s not like you’re allowing them to walk all over you, take your freedom away from you or getting control of your life! You meet people throughout your life that have such a beautiful, lasting grip on your heart and soul, the things you aspire to and those that you leave behind! They cry with you, they laugh with you, and you take pieces of it with you. Whatever the mind, heart and body can identify as good thoughts, good actions and goodness to others, you take it in and it becomes who you are, what you aspire to and long for in your life. So its okay to let yourself let people in, you may be surprised how much you like them, like what they’re doing, they’re approach to life and as long as they are willing to let you take what they give in your own way, in your way of doing things, in your time and fashion, you will be fine to let them in, even if it requires some change. You just don’t want to let them in so much that there becomes a choice between them and yourself. You just let them teach you and mould you to become the person, mind and heart that you know you so desire to be! It's not that they necessarily do what they want to you! So I am going to live life like I should, like I want, like I will, because without that I am just a big bubble of self, self, self!! Meeting people is fun, letting them in to share my life is great and letting them influence and change my heart to fit my mould is wonderful!

scottie cont...

He finally said something to me one day. I was dressed in a pink mini skirt and a white tank. I guess this whole thing about being away from John was to test the ground and see if we really love each other. So I made the plunge and smiled at him as he opened the door of a Shoppers Drugmart right on Whyte Ave. Okay, what was going to hurt me going into a Shoppers to grab some Crest Whitening Strips? ‘Be careful’ my inner good Christian girl complex said to me. So there he was, opening the door for me and getting me to walk through the door as I said, “thank you.” He just looked me in the eye and said ‘have a nice day’. Even that kind of interaction made me nervous. It’s that I’m meeting a guy, it’s the thought that I could lose John by falling in love with someone else or do something wrong like having sex before marriage to a man I don’t even love because I’m in love with someone else. You see, although I, am kind of a wanderer in this book and in my real life years ago, I am also very cautious and careful that some guy could take the place of a man I love. I guess that’s the risk I am taking, as I left John that one day he hugged and kissed me! Isn’t it because I’m allowing him and myself the freedom to look. But the good Christian girl within me is saying ‘be careful’ and I mean it because I agree with it: that a girl like me who is a Christian girl should not have sex and should stay true to another man while she waits for her man. She is tough, true to herself and her man, and is simply avoiding sexual play. Am I right then, that exploring the streets and being with a man or giving him a chance in a simple, non-risky way like talking, going to the movies and going on dates, is just alright! I think so. “How are you doing ?” the Scotman would say, when I saw him on the street by this pub. “I am doing quite fine thank you” I said. “Im Harold, what’s your name?” as he held out his hand to me. “I am Sarah,” I said, of course. “Oh lovely you are, and your name too,” “Are you the owner here, at this pub, the scottish pub?” I asked. “Yes I am,” he says. He was sounding like he was proud of it and he should be because it takes a lot of man power and commitment to run a business. A bar is a place many people think is harmless but many also think it is worthless. It’s because they believe there are greater things to do and be in life. I had a dream one night and I was clearly dating this guy. I was walking around with dishes and drinks and after that I do not know what happens. I probably was either putting them away or delivering them. But I was wearing a long flower-print dress. I could sense I was happy to be there and I think it’s because we were together. Well, I decided after that I did not want to immerse myself in this environment. It was a little far off from what I wanted out of life and John always kept coming in my mind and heart. He wasn’t just a man to me, he has something I love, and part of that is him, his true self!

the scottie

So I had had enough, John was still gone and I couldn’t handle loving him and seeing and watching and knowing he was hanging out with Sandra. That’s it I thought, this is over. I have no way to contact him, he is just going to deal with it. It doesn’t seem fair that they did not contact me about extending their time away (it was now past the 7 months mark and so I considered it OVER.) You know what, I thought, I have given them one more month and still I have seen them show nothing about what is happening. Do they actually expect me to wait around for them lie a “good” little girl and they do not have the decency to inform me. IN THIS SOCIETY, especially the Christian side of things, you’re expected to be this good little girl and as soon as you do wrong, it’s like you’re not that girl anymore, so I just wanted to break past that understanding that girls should just be good and help myself and others realize that God can forgive and you can more on and change. And even if you don’t change, God is still gracious to get you to the grace part even if it takes you longer. So before I met Dan there was this bar tender around. I would frequent the streets and see him around. Right away, a good portion of the streets part will be viewed to some as kind of a prostitution. Well, yes I was chasing after men at this point, but I didn’t touch them, get near this man sexually so already that opinion is falsified. Just because a girl wants to go and have fun, meet men and have a good, safe time, does not mean she is sinning or doing wrong. Naturally, walking down whyte avenue to look at clothes, buy a drink or head into a club are all the same things as long as you are not sinning while you do them. That’s my take on it so people are not confused between prostitution and a friendly walk into entertainment, anti-boredom and exploration. People go camping where they could be demolished by a black bear, men play golf and go to the casino (and women) and there’s a chance of experiencing feelings of regret and remorse at not playing a good game. Well regardless of what people may say these all have a resemblance to the feelings you’re going through when searching for a man. There’s the possibility of pain and suffering but we still do these things to give us a good time. So why do we downcast a friendly date or meeting a guy, when it could end up in heart break and pain, in the ways that it does in these other activities. So yes I did spend some time with a young man when I was alone, where there was no communication about coming back. I saw him by a shoppers drug mart and by his pub. My intentions were clean and I kept it that way. It was fun for a while, I should say, but I did leave him AFTER a while because it seemed after all, that I was still missing John and only wanting to be with him. But this is what we did together:

friends to enemies

So my husband now had totally disappointed me with all the women that I got to know. As you can see I have no problem with making friends, and THINGS ARE NOT LIKE THEY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL. I had made tons of friends. And I did not get why they all disappeared on me. There must have been like 5-7 friends totally deserted me when I confronted some and when they found out my husband was single, at the time. At the time this happened, I was so excited to enter a place like Edmonton, I had always dreamed of a place where I could go out with friends, no parents around and go shopping. Because we were still not seeing each other, he was contacting these women and as a result because they saw themselves with him, they totally did not see themselves as friends anymore. Of course I would get jealous of them, he was and is still as a married woman, a dream for me! I was so mad about this at both parties! I had good intentions with making friends, I was even willing to make that place my home, because for a while, I was LOVING the interactions with friends while hanging out at different restaurants, bars and coffee shops. My husband basically took away all that fun stuff from me by his flirting with my friends. He always says he is simply trying to be friendly, while SERIOUSLY making these women fall for him. They were basically saying, “PICK ME” while I am sitting over wondering, what the HECK do you want?? Turns out I am wrong and they do not matter to him when I confronted his sister about this. I messaged her on facebook!! She seemed to claim that he did not have any interest in these women at all, that he’s not that kind of person, to have the intention to flirt! I have ALWAYS been friends with John’s sister, she is truly awesome. That conversation put me in the greatest of spirits because there’s nothing like your crush leaving a woman and discouraging those women from thinking they even have a chance with him. Love my babe!! Muah! So I ran to Dan to keep myself from getting too upset at John. I mean, what did he expect, that I would just sit at home, doing nothing while my crush is spending quality time with Sandra?? I had had so many problems with friends and Jon for that matter, Dan seemed to be the remedy for all my failures! Dan and I went on a pizza date one night, we also went to this bar where we just sat as a couple and we can’t forget our cross-country skiing date, which ended up very badly. My idea of that kind of skiing was that it would be along flat trails and let’s just say we left ten minutes from starting the very curvy trails. I also mentioned that we met at another bar. Times with Dan were seriously the best!

The Angie Log

Angie was Sarah’s closest friend during the time that John was away with Sandra. We did everything together (except when going to school.) When we first met we were in a school classroom, when she walked up to me at first. We went to see the movie “Knocked up” which wa so funny and our friendship would make it so far as to see “Avatar.” I believe the latter had more of an effect on me. I mean the relationship John and I had reminded me of the young avatar couple that the movie was displaying to us as the audience. They reminded me of our connection and passion for each other. The girl avatar acted a lot like me, it’s hard to trust, has a slight temper when things don’t go my way, strong, smart, and daring and adventurous. Anyway, Angie and I had a lot of fun times. I just didn’t know if I could trust her. From the beginning of knowing her, she has this friend Lawrence. She warned me of him, that he’s not a good guy and someone who took advantage of her. I don’t know though, I did not think he was a bad guy, so he called me up one day and he came over. He also invited me to his place one night, it was just a friendly meeting, and that’s what happened at my place. We sat with a space between us, he admitted later that we never did anything intimate (which made me so proud of him when he could have taken advantage of me.) Anyway, we sat by the fireplace that was downstairs in a separate, enclosed room, my room was also on that floor. We had a few laughs and talks and finally called it quits as it was “Getting late” as he said. He was a responsible, calm and collected guy that knows what he wants. He is a guy that would try to interact with me in a more than friends kind of way but that’s ok because I was careful not to do anything that would upset Ang and make her feel inferior in any way! Angie was always trying to set me up with someone, but I always said “no” because there was John. I couldn’t do that to him. “He’s my backbone, my all, my reason for living, why would I entertain my time with someone else when hes coming back for me.” “I know,” she said back, “how do you know he’s coming back!” “Because we talked about that, they’re only going to be gone a little while and then we are going to reunite” “oh ok,” Angie would never push anything on me, she was a tall and pretty girl who would never inconvenience me into doing things that I did not want. I will, to be realistic, say that she and I didn’t always get along. We had clashes unfortunately and that drew us apart eventually. It’s like she gets super mad at me and I can’t handle it so I run away from her. Writing this now, it’s been a few years since we have talked.

outline

sheryls mom gets sick and this interferes with their love life because Sheryl is planning the wedding but also making frequent visits to see her mom -this causes problems to her because she wont be as focused on the wedding emotionally -but its an opportunity to include others in its preparation (I need you here…) -A few of her friends abandon her at this time -This puts strain on john bc he is also the reason they leave -will they work out these issues and forget about these problems (that don’t matter) and focus on the wedding? After the wedding… -whats she struggling with? - after having a wedding and getting past the honeymoon stage (of their relationship), sarah -her new job – its always the outer influences that put pressure on sarah - someone at work wants the same promotion as sarah in their counselling job (this person intimidates sarah) -her husband is putting on pressure to have kids, they are getting older -her husband works through these struggles with her by: putting off having a baby until work settles down, she loses some hours and gives up on the job promotion, -other social happenings is what she needs like with John’s friend Sandra. -a few conversations with her will uplift her and talk of getting out/joining social gatherings/groups will also help! Down the road, Sarah will finally achieve her ultimate goal and go on a friend’s trip -New York is where they go -she will achieve / encounter a personal victory -it should be emotional/mental -when she goes to see a bunch of shows in NY, she realizes her dream again to do that -she also knows in reality that her family and job connections will never accomodate it -in going to NY, even though she loves it, she realizes that all this wealth and privilege is not what she wants on this level -she also goes to Taiwan soon after and realizes that her country Canada has much more to offer as a developed nation, Taiwan is developing and has less to offer -she wonders what made her do it in the first place, Canada is a better option -NY will be a weekend vacation, whereas Taiwan was a way to experience the culture very well for three months

the restaurant

“Oh John, that is so special.  From the moment we met, you were my dream, everything I ever wanted, honey,” I said.

“Its hard to believe that we met when we were teenagers and I have this fondness for you, a genuine sense of you being yourself and me being myself as well.  I think the seed was planted there of our germination, of our spring of love.  The always
“Hi, sarah” is greeted with great love, happiness and wanting of each other.  Do you see what I mean? We have always been there for each other and longed to be in each other’s arms.  That’s what that shows me!” John said.

“Wow”, I say. “Me too, whenever I see you, I always feel that I desire, and want you in my life.  I have never felt that for anyone else in my life.  People always say (I know and believe): that they have never felt this before and I used to think that was so corny but now that this is happening to us, I believe in that kind of love; You are saying: I love you even though ive never seen it or experienced it before.  It is a kind of love which is something you've never seen, that sees beyond what’s there, there as in no love ; because you are believing that despite what has happened before, you are in a real love situation.  You are believing that that love now and forever is real.  So I say yes, I love you deeply!"

“That’s beautiful, you have basically explained to me everything I’ve been feeling in my heart. I love you and always will.

“Always honey, when ever we came in contact I was thrilled to see you.”

“Thrilled baby, thrilled as in sky diving thrilled, so you’re skydiving whilst my heart is going through these heights of emotion.”

“Oh no honey I don’t mean it like that, I was very excited I should say then…”

“just joking babe, take a joke!!!”

“I know, I know, im testing you…Oh right were not doing that anymore”

He picks me up and put me over his shoulders and says, “You did what, what did you do??”

“Never mind husband, I’m yours now forever”

“That sure shut you up baby!!!

I wiggle my body trying to get down from there and put him off balance.

It doesn’t work every time!

So as we left the property that we were on at the restaurant, arms locked together on our backs I could remember passing this way many times. I was just thinking how our love was so special now and when I used to pass this italian restaurant on the whyte avenue strip. 

“You know, when we did part ways that day at chapters, what do you think was going through my mind?”

“what time was this honey?”

“when you left with Sandra.”

“Probably that I’m going to kick me in the shins, then I’d never be able to play ultimate again!”

“No not in the least. I had forgiven you. I wanted you, loved you, and I wanted you to stay.”

date night

So we were off to eat something after Amy and I were talking and m husband was getting hungry so we went to the italian restaurant right across from chapters on whyte avenue.  Of course I love either straight spaghetti but also like the cream carbonara sauce pasta dish so that is what I ordered.  But something peculiar was coming up.  I noticed this guy just staring at me and I couldn’t figure out why.  So I kept looking away.  My husband just kept saying “whats wrong honey?” as I was careful not to point at him to draw any attention to me.  I whispered, “ya. Honey, there’s someone looking straight at me and I can not figure out why! “Oh my gosh,” I thought, “that’s my friend Rex”  But to be honest, I did not really want to talk to him!  My husband was with me and it had been so many year, that walking up to him would be so awkward.  The other thing I was thinking of was that my ex boyfriend walked into Chapters the other day, with his wife and never breathed a word so I decided I would do the same.  Man, today I am running into so many situations, it seems like eating supper with John is not going to happen.  Anyways, we finally sit down and order our meals and we start talking.

“Honey, I have something important to tell you.” said John.

“ok honey whats up?”

“Sandra is moving on and getting married”

“Oh my gosh that is so great I said, I’m so happy for her”

“Where is he from, does she have to relocate”

“No they met here”

“Do you feel relieved?”

“yees well theres always that fear in the back of your mind that your ex girlfriend will want you back…!”

“Oh Sarah, how many times have I told you I would never do that”

“I know, it’s just a little insecurity I have.  When was with one of my exes, there was always this girl lingering around us.  This girl really had no respect some days she didn’t even acknowledge me. “

“It’s ok though, I know who I am and what I deserve so I’m glad she’s officially moving on.” 

“Don’t worry Sarah, she does not mean any harm to you at all, she wants to see us happy and supports what we have together.”

“Were lucky that way, hey, to have a friend that looks out for us, supports us and is always there! I kinda like that about her.”

“Believe me, honey, you wont be disappointed because I will never let you down.  I’ve made my commitment to you known by my friends and family.  They know I love you and will always be with you and nothing can some between us.  If there is a problem between any of us, I will always make you happy and you will always be first in my life.  That’s how much I love you so much.

Aunts

And the wedding carried on.  We had our cordon bleu meal, salads and potatoes, there were lots of punch and bread where guests could help themselves.  “This is such a great wedding and banquet, Sarah” said my Aunt, as I reached the refreshments table. I knew her from living with her family when I was little.  She may be the Aunt I like the most.  She’s always positive and not as socially awkward, a very happy person.  “Oh, yes thank you Aunt, I am very pleased with it.  It has taken a lot of energy and work, but of course my special day is so important to me.  When youre getting married, you want everything to be perfect, It’s just a pattern women get into, you know, not only because its your special day but you want everything to look perfect for your guests to enjoy it as well, you know” I said to her.

“the little flower girls, your sisters two children, did such a great job, that was cute when one of the girls dropped her flowers and the older girl helped her up as her big sister,” said my Aunt

“yup, those are my niecies and they are so cute.  Proud Aunty over here.”

“my favourite part so far has been seeing all the kids together here, my inner teacher values coming out here.  I love all the dancing! No regrets there.  It’s so special seeing mommies and daddies dancing with their children.  It shows such a creative and thoughtful relationship between children and adult.  We are so fortunate to have so many children in our family.”

She goes on, “I am very happy that you two chose each other to marry because it always sounded like you had a fondness for each other.  It just needed time to develop.  I hope you will learn to love another and forgive each other even with all that’s happened.”

 

“Oh yes, Aunt, we are really forgiving and loving towards each other.  Any space between us, we are very eager it work it out.  It’s not like other relationships where you don’t talk for like two days.  At least I hope it doesn’t amount to that.  This is definitely what I love about him.  He is very forgiving and always is the done seeking peace and love, and also his faithfulness, he is so dedicated and concerned about my wellbeing.  He’s strong too.  But I have had to learn how to be patient, forgiving and loving.  I feel like this part of our relationship needs work and I could get better at It, it doesn’t come easy for me.  I hold to things I shouldn’t, but tis a progress that just keeps getting better with time.” 

“Don’t worry, Sarah, every relationship goes through this.  And you’re blessed you have those things with him.  Some couples take years to get that far.  I think your separation in your early days probably helped with that development.  I know you are going to do well together!  You both are a great team, your compliment each other and you are ready for life together!  I love you both!” said Aunt.

 

 

 

 

speeches

Now we got to the banquet hall with everything set up, tables and chairs looking so good.  (I don’t really know where the speeches come in and I think it’s after the meal).  With the decorations on the tables and chairs,  the white lights lit all over the room, in the corners and around the walls, the room ;looked spectacular, just the way I wanted it!  As the guests started arriving at the banquet hall, the head table began to arrive.  My four girls who were bridesmaids, came and grabbed their seat while the rest of the guests started to arrive.  The lady servers start to bring out the meals, it was a fantastic chicken cord on bleu with a salad and mashed potatoes.  But the big event that happened and is very important to me, were the speeches made by the bride, groom, and the best man/maid of honor.  The speeches being said by the maid of honor and the best man are very touching and warms the heart.  They spoke of the ttimes we have had together throughout the years and the impact that the married couple have had on these individuals, with a toast to the couple after they spoke about them.  As I stood to acknowledge all of the fabulous people who had helped us out and are celebrating this important day with us. 

“Thank you very much for coming to our wedding, to celebrate moments we are sharing with you, that is a great milestone in our lives.  We could not have done it without you and are extremely grateful for your support and love.  When we were sad, you lifted our spirits.  When we were indecisive, you pointed us in the right direction, when we were lost, you helped find our designated purpose.  When all hope was gone you brought encouragement and when we needed love you gave it.  I just want to say that when John came into my life, I truly found my purpose, my reason for living.  HE is my light and love.  He has opened my eyes and taught me things no one ever in my life has done.  And I am truly grateful that it is me that is standing before you all as his wife, after this afternoon today! I have loved him unconditionally, desires him with my whole heart and am so happy to be with him for the rest of my life.  He is kind, he is charming and good-looking, never is cross with me and puts up with my silliness.  I am so proud of him and tod be able to call him husband!  Honey, to many years together and lots of love between us and our families!!”  Sarah sat down and her husband whispers to her, “I love you Sarah, you are my everything!!” I smile back at him, the love of my life, my pride and joy and everything I have ever wanted and everything to me.