secret admirer - the good bye

Just after supper, they talked. “What is all of this John, you know what this means? It means that you could fall in love with her and that is my greatest fear. Why would you put your self in a position that compromises and does not value us or our relationship? "It’s not like that Sheryl. That’s far from the truth. We are just friends." "And you think this might not be long?" "No. I will be right back here when I can!" “When you can? What does that mean John? We have agreed to six months, nothing more than that, you shouldn’t be spending that much time with her!” “It means that I don’t know the definite time but six months seems fair. I don’t have all the answers Sheryl” “Ya, right, six months” thought Sheryl, truly. At this time she was not thinking there would be a problem with the timing as much as how easily it will be for people to fall in love when they are away from someone else they love, as we would be. I know this was basically all my idea. The Chapters guy was definitely flirtatious and John didn’t like this, but now that I see this other woman, I don’t think I like the idea of moving away for a while. Holding her hand John goes on, “Sheryl, you know my feelings for you and you are the light in my life, but I need space too as you do right now. I wish I could stay. But I must go now” as I opened the passenger door and that would be my last time seeing him in god knows how much time. They hugged outside of the car, and he said he loved me. “I do too,” said Sheryl. “I hope our feelings and love strengthens and never fades away,” she goes on. John says, “It won’t." So she left as they held hands for the very first time, and finally letting go of his hands as she gradually walks away. She cried, in her car as he drove in the opposite direction and she was relieved he didn’t see her crying. “How stupid,” she thought, “to be crying over a man who evidently doesn’t love me enough to stay close to me. This is not the kind of love that I ever imagined. If he loved me, he’d be here but he has made the choice to leave. I know he has all these reasons for leaving and I have all these reasons for not dating right away. So I am overruled - I am right, he is right, a separation would do us some good, I guess. What I want doesn’t count though and this is reminiscent of the past, which I hate; and now here’s hoping his heart is mine forever, even if not in a physical way. Another and final part of saying goodbye was the house church gathering, which took place just minutes before he left. He would come up to me and say that he was glad I came, and I said that I was happy to be here. But at one time I joined him with a group and asked him what he will be doing, where he was going! He humbly said he would skiing with a “girl” and I was actually quite happy with this. How bad could it be going skiing? Soon after that, he left. Only thing I didn’t like was how he was staring me down, from sweater to very tight pants. I mean if you’re going to leave and I respect that, but if you’re going to spend time with someone else, I will not be there physically and emotionally for you. It’s only fair.